When I barely survive…

I barely survived yesterday…

I almost LITERALLY barely survived yesterday. It could have been bad…

I was exhausted. I didn’t sleep much the night before..restless legs, carpal tunnel, frequent bathroom visits…all pregnancy delights…

and a snoring husband…

The rain had been coming down all night. The kids were driving me nuts…so much pent up energy.

I needed out of that house…I needed greener grass…

I needed Chicfila chicken noodle soup.

Like BAD.

Caesar salads (my other MUST HAVE item) are kind of off the list for the moment since e.Coli and pregnancy, I’m sure, don’t mix. Dang recalls…ugh

We hopped in the car and headed off towards town…short drive.

The kids would be strapped in their seats, belted down, watching something on TV (I say WATCHING because I was TOTALLY blowing them out of the car with some Jesus music), while I had a few minutes of blissful peace…only one kid can unbuckle her seatbelt so no one wouldbe running crazy…

And it happened…

I am thankful to God that it happened before we got out on the highway…

My windshield wiper broke…like broke off…hanging.

I pulled over in the rain and tried to get it back on, but it was in multiple pieces. We drove home at a snail’s pace with no wipers. We made it. I cried. I needed chicken noodle soup.

Some days are just like that. You have an emptiness…a craving…and it’s not always pregnancy related. Some days are just overwhelming and you feel a void…something is lacking…like you just need to get away, find dry ground…

It’s amazing how events can speak to your heart, change your vision, make you see what you have been overlooking.

Home is where I need to be. HOME, truly is where my heart is…eating breadless sandwiches with the kids and building circuits with my daughter’s new electrical kit, watching Minnie Mouse for the umpteen, dozenth time while the princesses march around in mis-matched Halloween costumes with clunky, plastic heels, or listening to my kids ice skate on my upstairs hardwoods with Lego skates…I still haven’t looked.

My inside sometimes feels like the weather looks on the outside, but I’m looking at the wrong things. My focus is off. Im seeing other peoples lives and dreams lived out and forgetting that they really arent my dreams. And I get confused. I forget who I am and what I really want in life…what’s important to ME. I need to reel myself back in and focus on MY heart, the choices that I have made, and the REASONS I made them. I need to look at what I have, my blessings, and not let them get overlooked because someone else’s life looks a little more glittery and sparkly.

The grass may look greener on the other side of the fence, but it’s not MY grass, that I planted, and hey…I kind of like a few weeds here and there…adds a little burst of color.

I wouldn’t trade rainy days, stuck at the house, INSIDE with my babies for ANYTHING…even if I have to threaten them with keeping a broken arm until their daddy gets home if they fall from doing flips on the couch.

Hey…you can’t drive in the rain with 1 wiper, or I’d have a big ol’ bowl of chicken noodle soup…and a frosted lemonaid 😉

THAT is MY dream…a BIG ‘ol bowl…to snack on while I watch the crazy, mis-matched, dancing princesses, on ice skates show…on my hardwoods 😣

Oh, and about the picture…

YES! The windshield is filthy.

The brown thing? A Play-doh dog. He’s been there a good, long minute…or two 🙄


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